


let's waste time chasing cars

by krisherdown



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 22:19:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2325197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krisherdown/pseuds/krisherdown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick is going to lose his job at this awful used car lot because everyone else has.  He sees a guy wandering on the street and hatches an idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let's waste time chasing cars

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes an incident happens in real life that's so weird that it seems made up. Except the contents of the note at the end, this is based on reality.

Patrick hates his alarm. It totally deserved to get thrown to the ground because it clearly didn’t work correctly to begin with.

The thing is, he needs this summer job to work for the _entire_ summer. Even though he hates selling cars, it’s a summer job that doesn’t involve flipping burgers so he really does want to hold on.

The problem is, he might not be able to hold onto this job and it’s thanks to this rickety old phone doubling as his alarm. The screen did crack a little from the fall, hence another reason he needs to not get fired.

He was supposed to be in the team meeting at 8:30 and he’s arriving at the lot as the time has just changed to 8:35. There is no way he can sneak into the meeting without being ridiculously obvious in his lateness.

Being late by five minutes for the second time would be bad under any circumstances for a new employee. It’s especially bad given he was hired along with six other college students on summer break two weeks ago and the only ones yet to get axed from that group are himself and Sharpy. Which is an unfair comparison because Sharpy is dating Abby, one of the regular employees.

The point still stands that he is late and so getting fired unless a better idea comes to him in the next minute. He sees a guy walking slowly on the other side of the street. Maybe, just maybe.

* * * * *

Jonny hates TJ. He hates TJ and he hates that he’s wasting a weekend morning getting the windshield replaced on his car while TJ is sleeping off a hangover.

He doesn’t know how TJ managed to inflict a deep scratch on the _inside_ but it cannot be fixed. TJ has already agreed to pay the cost but Jonny would be happier if he was wasting his time at this hole-in-the-wall window place instead. Of course, that would have involved TJ driving the car, something Jonny isn’t keen on right now.

It’s going to cost him a couple hundred as well as a few hours of sleep but it’s too hot to sit in this glorified shed acting as the main desk. He opts to walk down the block to explore the area until he notices the sight of empty coffee cups in the trash and follows the trail to the gas station.

One cup and a refill later, Jonny checks his watch and not as much time had passed as he’d hoped. He settles on returning to the shed and falling asleep in the heat when he sees a blond guy across the street waving in his direction and walking toward him.

Jonny looks around, sees this street has a decent amount of traffic for a Saturday morning, and carefully crosses the street to see what’s going on.

"I was hoping you can do me a big favor," the blond starts, fiddling with the cuff of his suit. While the suit itself does fit the guy properly, he does not look at ease in the attire at all. "That is, if you have time to spare."

He wishes he had something better to do. He so wishes he could turn down the blue eyes pleading for his help. "Depends on what you need."

"I was hoping you could pretend to buy a car from me." The look Jonny levels at the guy immediately has him retreating. "Don’t worry. You don’t _really_ have to...I’m not that guy."

Jonny glances in the direction of the car lot. "You’re not a sleazy used car salesman?"

"No. I need this job but my boss doesn’t like his employees being a few minutes late for his team meetings. My phone’s alarm decided to be not useful this morning, hence being late. I can probably hold the job a little while if I can’t sell a car as I’ve only been doing this for two weeks but this? Not so good. Walk with me? Please?"

"Fine." Jonny crosses the street with the guy, heading toward the lot. The cars on display are roughly five to ten years old, all in at least sellable shape. They actually look better than the fifteen-year-old Explorer he got as a college graduation gift last year. He has a working car. All he needs is an unscratched windshield.

The blue eyes light up, his face breaking out into a smile as he says, "Thank you, thank you so much." Then he abruptly coughs and tries to settle into a straight face. The guy is at work, after all, and Jonny is supposed to help this guy lie to his boss. "So, you’re interested?"

Jonny blinks, temporarily forgetting he’s supposed to be interested in a _car,_ not a date with this guy. Game time. "Well, I was getting my windshield fixed so I thought I’d look here while waiting."

"Okay. I can work with that. What type of car do you have?"

"Explorer."

The guy nods, then walks past the sedans toward the SUVs. "I get it. Need the legroom." They stop in front of a 2009 Escape with a 56000 mileage tag in the window. "What do you do for a living… uh, I didn’t catch your name?"

"Jonny. IT department for a medical company."

"Patrick. Nice to meet you," then offers to shake his hand in a way that’s clearly meant for the job. "Is this the type of car you’d have interest in?"

Jonny walks around the car, pretending to consider the possibility. "It could. I mean, my car is in solid shape right now but I’d have to think about it. I didn’t come here looking for a car, after all."

"Of course." Patrick cranes his head, seeing a guy who appears to be a fellow employee spot them. "This is a good sign. Sharpy’s here."

The guy he called Sharpy approaches. "What gives?"

"I was about to head to our team meeting when I spotted this young man looking. I couldn’t just walk past without offering assistance."

Sharpy gives a sideward glance toward Jonny and appears a little suspicious. "You are? Have you given him a price yet?"

"I can’t very well do that while Q is holding the team meeting." Jonny wonders how much longer he has to play along. Q must be the boss, the person Patrick needs to impress. "I need the keys so I can pull the car out and Jonny can sit in it, get the full experience." Patrick inspects the tag, noting the details.

"That part I can do. Follow me, Pattycake," Sharpy leading Patrick away, a smile creeping on his face makes Jonny incredibly suspicious about whether his lying could be more trouble than it’s worth.

* * * * *

"You are seriously sad," Sharpy says to Patrick as they approach Sharpy’s girlfriend Abby. He says to her, "We need to get to the keys. Patty has a customer already."  
  
Abby replies, "Really? That’s quick." She fishes out the main set of keys from her pocket, which leads to the keys for the cars on display. "Which car?"  
  
Patrick rattles off the information from the tag. "2009 Escape. Black. 56000 miles."

"Our Patty is stepping up his game!" Sharpy exclaims while getting Patrick into a headlock. Abby rolls her eyes. "You think he’ll buy?"

"He might," Patrick hoping he’s selling the story well enough. "He’s a computer guy who had to get repairs done on his car. He’ll have to talk to… his girlfriend, I think."

Abby looks out the window, then chuckles to herself before asking, "Are you trying to convince yourself he’s not available?"

Patrick starts up, "I’m not…"  
  
Sharpy interjects, "Oh it’s ridiculously obvious he’s using his job to pick up that guy. I haven’t figured out if he’s buying what Patty’s _really_ selling."

Abby holds up the key. "He’s not running away so he has some interest. At the very least, he doesn’t think you’re crazy, like that guy Crosby believed yesterday. You’re not exactly a born salesman, Pat."

Patrick is about to retort but remembers in time Abby is actually someone he needs to impress, as opposed to Sharpy. "I am trying my best. I need this job."

"I’m not the one you need to be worried about. The meeting seems to be breaking up." Abby points toward a group of workers leaving the other room. "Showtime." She tosses the key Patrick’s way.

* * * * *

Jonny should leave. He should leave and let Patrick deal with the consequences.

He glances toward the makeshift office Patrick and the person he referred to as Sharpy went to get the keys. He can see in the window a woman looking his way and immediately returns his attention to the car. A car he couldn’t afford for another few years, by his rough estimate.

About five minutes later, Patrick returns with a keyring he’s twirling on his index finger. Sharpy and the woman are standing by the doorway, too far away to hear them. "So far, so good. Let me get the car out of this crowded spot so you can sit, get a better feel for the car. See if it’s something you would purchase." Still in work mode, his shaky fingers the only giveaway this is not a real deal.

Jonny asks, "Do you go to college nearby?"

"What made you ask that?" Patrick stopping to think whether he said anything of the sort.

"You started two weeks ago. That would mean it’s a summer job for someone who finished spring semester."

Patrick slinks into the small space between the cars and succeeds at getting in the driver’s seat. He lowers the window and starts the engine. "Well, yeah. I couldn’t commit to a job like this with a full course load, even if I’m not sure what I actually want to major in yet." He gestures for Jonny to back up, then slips the car out from the tight spot toward the office door and the two smiling bystanders still standing there.

Jonny walks over, settling by the now-stopped car’s driver’s side. He doesn’t particularly want to do much inspection of this car but he has to sell the point. "I actually rented a car like this when I had to get the transmission done two years ago. It was a nice ride."

"You have an Explorer, you said. What year?"

Jonny is about to say the proper year, then remembers this is not just empty chitchat but as a means of getting this car. This car he doesn’t want from a dealership he has no interest in acquiring information about him. "Two thousand… two."  
  
"How many miles?"

A number that sounds reasonable for the age of the car. "About 120 thousand."

"Good sellable condition?"  
  
"Near excellent condition," Jonny actually sounding downright offended it could be anything else. That gets a smile out of Patrick for the first time since Sharpy and this woman got involved.

"That will help get better value. Of course, this is the person who has the final say," gesturing toward the older gentleman now approaching the group.

Q says, "Ah, I see you’re getting an early start on the day, Kane."

"Yes, sir. I was on my way to our very important meeting when I saw this young man checking out what we have in stock."

Jonny lets out a cough, then says, "My car is having the windshield replaced so I was just walking past. I have to admit that I don’t know if I can afford a car from your lot at this time but Patrick has been selling me on the Escape."

"Don’t worry about it, young man. Just starting out in the workforce, need a reliable car. Every car in my lot has cleared inspection. Step inside so we can crunch numbers and figure out if this is a viable option."

Patrick smiles uneasily but leads Jonny over to an impersonal empty desk with a computer and not much else. Probably the same desk every rookie uses for a sale. He grabs a form from the rack and slides it over to Jonny, then remembers to look for a pen. He eventually takes one from his pocket, their fingers brushing in the exchange.

Jonny knows nearly everything on the paper will be believable but bogus. He tries not to put much thought in what the lies will be before passing it back to Patrick. Patrick doesn’t get a chance to inspect the scribblings before Q pops up and they head into something resembling real office space.

The woman has settled at a cubicle, which has various photos on display – including ones with Sharpy in a definitely not-business situation. Jonny tries to listen to what’s happening in the office, then needs a distraction so asks the woman, "Can I borrow a piece of paper?"

"Sure," she says brightly before heading to the printer to get a stray piece.

"Thank you," then Jonny writes a quick note, needing to fold the sheet up and hide it under the keyboard just as Q and Patrick exit the office. Jonny stands up, then they all sit down.

Q says, "I have to admit I’m very interested in acquiring your car. A 2002 Explorer with that mileage will sell very well in this neighborhood." He slides over a paper. "This is an estimate of how much we can offer, if it’s in fact in the condition you claim."

Jonny tries not to respond indignantly at the assumption he’s overselling his product then glances down at the price. As he suspected, not a car he can afford any time soon. "This is definitely intriguing," he musters out as a reply. "I have to go over my finances… and, of course, pick up my car from the shop."  
  
"No problem. Come around when you’re done there so we can do an evaluation. That way, I can provide a better estimate." He hands Jonny a business card, stating Q as the owner.

Jonny accepts the business card. "Will do. Thank you, sir. Patrick was quite helpful," but he can’t bear to look Patrick’s direction to see how he’s handling this story as he exits the lot.

* * * * *

When Jonny leaves, Q says, "I have to admit I thought you were making up that story, Kane, but he seems like a good lad. I think that Jonny Towers will return."

Patrick nods, not able to say a word before Q returns to his office. Abby waits for the door to close to whisper, "He passed you a note on the desk. You two are truly so high school."

He doesn’t see anything on the desk so lifts the keyboard and spots the piece of paper. He carefully unfolds it, then begins chuckling. "Yeah, I guess you’re right," he mutters.  "Time to get this day started right."

 

_Invest in a battery-powered alarm clock. You owe me dinner at Roberto’s Pizzeria @ 7 tonight if you still have a job._

 


End file.
